Devour me with song ridden lips.
Kiss away the shadows that linger in my bones.
Sing to me the lullabies of many tomorrows with you by my side.
Graze my body with guitar playing hands.
Your calloused fingertips cap your smooth and beautiful soul.
Our bodies in harmony, our souls intertwined.
We are a love song I want to play over and over again.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Saved (Jan 2013)
Lips drenched in red wine,
framed by shy sunset cheeks.
Looking across the room,
I've found a soul that speaks to me.
And a heart that understands.
Just from your eyes, I can tell
You hold the most beautiful world inside.
When we kiss, the very moment our lips meet,
I can see through your eyes.
I only wonder what you see through mine.
My hope is that you see lovely things;
Sunflowers, an ocean sunrise.
Not all the times when I thirsted for the bottom of the sea.
When I was drowning in swells,
dragged by currents.
But you've opened my eyes to a world
free of dark, unforgiving things.
Now my mind rests in a port.
You've pulled me from the dark, cold sea.
framed by shy sunset cheeks.
Looking across the room,
I've found a soul that speaks to me.
And a heart that understands.
Just from your eyes, I can tell
You hold the most beautiful world inside.
When we kiss, the very moment our lips meet,
I can see through your eyes.
I only wonder what you see through mine.
My hope is that you see lovely things;
Sunflowers, an ocean sunrise.
Not all the times when I thirsted for the bottom of the sea.
When I was drowning in swells,
dragged by currents.
But you've opened my eyes to a world
free of dark, unforgiving things.
Now my mind rests in a port.
You've pulled me from the dark, cold sea.
Untitled (Jan 2013)
May your dark eyes enrich my mind with secrets,
and may your hands revive every nerve in my body.
You breathe new life into me,
You make rain fall back into the sky.
Somehow you've awaken a light in me.
So lay by my side and let me look into those lovely eyes.
and may your hands revive every nerve in my body.
You breathe new life into me,
You make rain fall back into the sky.
Somehow you've awaken a light in me.
So lay by my side and let me look into those lovely eyes.
To The Guy Who Never Called (Dec 2012)
To the guy who never called; I didn't like you anyway.
You, were like the first day of winter.
Bittersweet in the sense that I was excited for Christmas,
But then it never snowed.
You thought you won me over because of the way your smile
revealed dimples on your cheeks;
Like the way a map reveals a hidden treasure.
Gold sparkling in your eyes, holding the promises of a new world.
But then again, I was on my third glass of wine.
So as captivating as I may remember you,
You probably weren't that great...
But I'll never forget the way your hand brushing mine ignited something in me;
A slow burning fire that never quite made it to full flame.
You talked about snow in a way that made me wish it were year round.
You talked about the first snowfall as if it were a first kiss;
The way it melted on your tongue made you feel like you were tasting a piece of the sky;
sweet only because you imagined it should be.
You said it's only perfect for a few moments until it melts into the rest of the Earth,
its magic dissipating.
I guess I should have realized then that your tongue was actually
fostering words of lust, while your lips coated them with falsified admiration.
So I should have known that when you kissed me goodbye that night,
it's spell would fade as quickly as it came.
The next morning my lips were still dripping with the memory of yours,
But your lips had already forgotten mine.
The feeling melted away in the morning sun.
No longer perfect, but instead, forgotten.
You, were like the first day of winter.
Bittersweet in the sense that I was excited for Christmas,
But then it never snowed.
You thought you won me over because of the way your smile
revealed dimples on your cheeks;
Like the way a map reveals a hidden treasure.
Gold sparkling in your eyes, holding the promises of a new world.
But then again, I was on my third glass of wine.
So as captivating as I may remember you,
You probably weren't that great...
But I'll never forget the way your hand brushing mine ignited something in me;
A slow burning fire that never quite made it to full flame.
You talked about snow in a way that made me wish it were year round.
You talked about the first snowfall as if it were a first kiss;
The way it melted on your tongue made you feel like you were tasting a piece of the sky;
sweet only because you imagined it should be.
You said it's only perfect for a few moments until it melts into the rest of the Earth,
its magic dissipating.
I guess I should have realized then that your tongue was actually
fostering words of lust, while your lips coated them with falsified admiration.
So I should have known that when you kissed me goodbye that night,
it's spell would fade as quickly as it came.
The next morning my lips were still dripping with the memory of yours,
But your lips had already forgotten mine.
The feeling melted away in the morning sun.
No longer perfect, but instead, forgotten.
Untitled (Dec. 2012)
So much of the time that passed, I wasted remembering you
instead of trying to get you back.
I wrote poems and letters; all of which I never let you see.
I kept imagining how life could be with you,
or how long it would take you to come back.
But these were impossible thoughts because I never disclosed
the kinds of emotions coursing through my veins.
Now I've lost you among a crowded room, never to return again.
What I feel for you is being woven into my soul.
Stitched into intricate patterns of hopelessness and regrets.
I claw at my chest in attempt of ripping at the seams.
I poor alcohol down my throat in hopes that they will be dissolved, numbed, forgotten.
This feeling is a disease that has spread to each organ,
and I fear that my brain has also fallen victim.
It must've taken control now because not only have I been dreaming
about confessing everything to you;
But I'm actually here, in front of your house.
Before I have time to change my mind, you've opened the door.
Your dark eyes looking through me.
Before I even have a chance to speak, I see her standing at your side.
At that exact moment, I feel the thread unraveling from
the spool that's become my soul.
For the first time in my life I feel empty and full at the same time.
I realize that I didn't lose you, but I lost myself.
No longer among a crowd, I stand alone.
My soul no longer lost at sea, tangled and pulled by seaweed.
I'm in a port; in a place where I can call home.
instead of trying to get you back.
I wrote poems and letters; all of which I never let you see.
I kept imagining how life could be with you,
or how long it would take you to come back.
But these were impossible thoughts because I never disclosed
the kinds of emotions coursing through my veins.
Now I've lost you among a crowded room, never to return again.
What I feel for you is being woven into my soul.
Stitched into intricate patterns of hopelessness and regrets.
I claw at my chest in attempt of ripping at the seams.
I poor alcohol down my throat in hopes that they will be dissolved, numbed, forgotten.
This feeling is a disease that has spread to each organ,
and I fear that my brain has also fallen victim.
It must've taken control now because not only have I been dreaming
about confessing everything to you;
But I'm actually here, in front of your house.
Before I have time to change my mind, you've opened the door.
Your dark eyes looking through me.
Before I even have a chance to speak, I see her standing at your side.
At that exact moment, I feel the thread unraveling from
the spool that's become my soul.
For the first time in my life I feel empty and full at the same time.
I realize that I didn't lose you, but I lost myself.
No longer among a crowd, I stand alone.
My soul no longer lost at sea, tangled and pulled by seaweed.
I'm in a port; in a place where I can call home.
Depression (Dec. 2012)
It's just another lonely Tuesday afternoon.
Sitting by myself in my favorite coffee shop.
I sip my latte and then I notice this attractive guy take a seat near me.
But all of the sudden, my nose fills with the smell of gasoline.
And I know it's not you, but it's me.
I'm imagining myself doused in a chemical that can turn me to flame;
Burning out all the loneliness inside of me.
I think that the correct term for this is depression.
Defined by my psychologist as,
"feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy."
Defined by you as suicidal.
To me, it feels like being stranded on a 4x4 island
surrounded by quick sand.
It feels like each step I take just sinks further into the Earth;
swallowing me whole and then spitting me back out
because not even the dirt feels I'm worth something.
Depression means lying in bed at night for hours
with thoughts so heavy that you feel like your
head will fall straight through the mattress to the floor.
Depression means mascara stained cheeks every time you're alone;
it means swallowing your tears, choking them down so they
can find a home in the black hole inside your chest.
The same spot that's engulfing your organs, turning your flesh inside out.
All you want is someone to knot look at you as if you're breakable.
All I want is someone to lay beside other than the ghosts of everyone and
everything that's made me this way.
All I want is for my nose not to burn with the fumes of gasoline
every time I see someone that could've been you.
Sitting by myself in my favorite coffee shop.
I sip my latte and then I notice this attractive guy take a seat near me.
But all of the sudden, my nose fills with the smell of gasoline.
And I know it's not you, but it's me.
I'm imagining myself doused in a chemical that can turn me to flame;
Burning out all the loneliness inside of me.
I think that the correct term for this is depression.
Defined by my psychologist as,
"feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy."
Defined by you as suicidal.
To me, it feels like being stranded on a 4x4 island
surrounded by quick sand.
It feels like each step I take just sinks further into the Earth;
swallowing me whole and then spitting me back out
because not even the dirt feels I'm worth something.
Depression means lying in bed at night for hours
with thoughts so heavy that you feel like your
head will fall straight through the mattress to the floor.
Depression means mascara stained cheeks every time you're alone;
it means swallowing your tears, choking them down so they
can find a home in the black hole inside your chest.
The same spot that's engulfing your organs, turning your flesh inside out.
All you want is someone to knot look at you as if you're breakable.
All I want is someone to lay beside other than the ghosts of everyone and
everything that's made me this way.
All I want is for my nose not to burn with the fumes of gasoline
every time I see someone that could've been you.
Television Screens (Sept. 2012)
When I turn on the TV these days, depression slaps me with calloused hands across my face. The world is falling apart before our eyes, but everyone's too distracted by the bright lights flashing across our screens. There's so much more we're missing in-between. Men and women are dying all over the world for our country; for you. But you wouldn't realize that, no. Because you're too worried about who's guest starring next on Ellen, or what Kardashian is getting married or re-married. Can't' you see that children are having children? And can't you see that these children are being brought into a world of wars, corruption, and suffering? Into a world where your priest, the man who is divine and your gateway to God, is devouring your children's youth behind closed doors. We are blind and unwilling to believe that a world outside our own exists. While you lay asleep tonight in your bed, there is so much hatred and evil accumulating that will eventually cast itself into death and despair. Meanwhile, your mind is drifting off into pleasant dreams and you won't even know. You won't know that someone, somewhere is welcoming death to infiltrate their body because they realize how nothing is right in the world anymore. I can't watch TV anymore because its obscenities strangle me, leaving me bruised and breathless. So turn off the TV for a minute and look at your reflection in the screen. Do you see the world echoed in your eyes? Its loneliness running down your face? Its anger spewing from clenched teeth? I feel sorrow in my soul and exhaustion in my bones because those who reflect on the world are often left behind.
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