Devour me with song ridden lips.
Kiss away the shadows that linger in my bones.
Sing to me the lullabies of many tomorrows with you by my side.
Graze my body with guitar playing hands.
Your calloused fingertips cap your smooth and beautiful soul.
Our bodies in harmony, our souls intertwined.
We are a love song I want to play over and over again.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Saved (Jan 2013)
Lips drenched in red wine,
framed by shy sunset cheeks.
Looking across the room,
I've found a soul that speaks to me.
And a heart that understands.
Just from your eyes, I can tell
You hold the most beautiful world inside.
When we kiss, the very moment our lips meet,
I can see through your eyes.
I only wonder what you see through mine.
My hope is that you see lovely things;
Sunflowers, an ocean sunrise.
Not all the times when I thirsted for the bottom of the sea.
When I was drowning in swells,
dragged by currents.
But you've opened my eyes to a world
free of dark, unforgiving things.
Now my mind rests in a port.
You've pulled me from the dark, cold sea.
framed by shy sunset cheeks.
Looking across the room,
I've found a soul that speaks to me.
And a heart that understands.
Just from your eyes, I can tell
You hold the most beautiful world inside.
When we kiss, the very moment our lips meet,
I can see through your eyes.
I only wonder what you see through mine.
My hope is that you see lovely things;
Sunflowers, an ocean sunrise.
Not all the times when I thirsted for the bottom of the sea.
When I was drowning in swells,
dragged by currents.
But you've opened my eyes to a world
free of dark, unforgiving things.
Now my mind rests in a port.
You've pulled me from the dark, cold sea.
Untitled (Jan 2013)
May your dark eyes enrich my mind with secrets,
and may your hands revive every nerve in my body.
You breathe new life into me,
You make rain fall back into the sky.
Somehow you've awaken a light in me.
So lay by my side and let me look into those lovely eyes.
and may your hands revive every nerve in my body.
You breathe new life into me,
You make rain fall back into the sky.
Somehow you've awaken a light in me.
So lay by my side and let me look into those lovely eyes.
To The Guy Who Never Called (Dec 2012)
To the guy who never called; I didn't like you anyway.
You, were like the first day of winter.
Bittersweet in the sense that I was excited for Christmas,
But then it never snowed.
You thought you won me over because of the way your smile
revealed dimples on your cheeks;
Like the way a map reveals a hidden treasure.
Gold sparkling in your eyes, holding the promises of a new world.
But then again, I was on my third glass of wine.
So as captivating as I may remember you,
You probably weren't that great...
But I'll never forget the way your hand brushing mine ignited something in me;
A slow burning fire that never quite made it to full flame.
You talked about snow in a way that made me wish it were year round.
You talked about the first snowfall as if it were a first kiss;
The way it melted on your tongue made you feel like you were tasting a piece of the sky;
sweet only because you imagined it should be.
You said it's only perfect for a few moments until it melts into the rest of the Earth,
its magic dissipating.
I guess I should have realized then that your tongue was actually
fostering words of lust, while your lips coated them with falsified admiration.
So I should have known that when you kissed me goodbye that night,
it's spell would fade as quickly as it came.
The next morning my lips were still dripping with the memory of yours,
But your lips had already forgotten mine.
The feeling melted away in the morning sun.
No longer perfect, but instead, forgotten.
You, were like the first day of winter.
Bittersweet in the sense that I was excited for Christmas,
But then it never snowed.
You thought you won me over because of the way your smile
revealed dimples on your cheeks;
Like the way a map reveals a hidden treasure.
Gold sparkling in your eyes, holding the promises of a new world.
But then again, I was on my third glass of wine.
So as captivating as I may remember you,
You probably weren't that great...
But I'll never forget the way your hand brushing mine ignited something in me;
A slow burning fire that never quite made it to full flame.
You talked about snow in a way that made me wish it were year round.
You talked about the first snowfall as if it were a first kiss;
The way it melted on your tongue made you feel like you were tasting a piece of the sky;
sweet only because you imagined it should be.
You said it's only perfect for a few moments until it melts into the rest of the Earth,
its magic dissipating.
I guess I should have realized then that your tongue was actually
fostering words of lust, while your lips coated them with falsified admiration.
So I should have known that when you kissed me goodbye that night,
it's spell would fade as quickly as it came.
The next morning my lips were still dripping with the memory of yours,
But your lips had already forgotten mine.
The feeling melted away in the morning sun.
No longer perfect, but instead, forgotten.
Untitled (Dec. 2012)
So much of the time that passed, I wasted remembering you
instead of trying to get you back.
I wrote poems and letters; all of which I never let you see.
I kept imagining how life could be with you,
or how long it would take you to come back.
But these were impossible thoughts because I never disclosed
the kinds of emotions coursing through my veins.
Now I've lost you among a crowded room, never to return again.
What I feel for you is being woven into my soul.
Stitched into intricate patterns of hopelessness and regrets.
I claw at my chest in attempt of ripping at the seams.
I poor alcohol down my throat in hopes that they will be dissolved, numbed, forgotten.
This feeling is a disease that has spread to each organ,
and I fear that my brain has also fallen victim.
It must've taken control now because not only have I been dreaming
about confessing everything to you;
But I'm actually here, in front of your house.
Before I have time to change my mind, you've opened the door.
Your dark eyes looking through me.
Before I even have a chance to speak, I see her standing at your side.
At that exact moment, I feel the thread unraveling from
the spool that's become my soul.
For the first time in my life I feel empty and full at the same time.
I realize that I didn't lose you, but I lost myself.
No longer among a crowd, I stand alone.
My soul no longer lost at sea, tangled and pulled by seaweed.
I'm in a port; in a place where I can call home.
instead of trying to get you back.
I wrote poems and letters; all of which I never let you see.
I kept imagining how life could be with you,
or how long it would take you to come back.
But these were impossible thoughts because I never disclosed
the kinds of emotions coursing through my veins.
Now I've lost you among a crowded room, never to return again.
What I feel for you is being woven into my soul.
Stitched into intricate patterns of hopelessness and regrets.
I claw at my chest in attempt of ripping at the seams.
I poor alcohol down my throat in hopes that they will be dissolved, numbed, forgotten.
This feeling is a disease that has spread to each organ,
and I fear that my brain has also fallen victim.
It must've taken control now because not only have I been dreaming
about confessing everything to you;
But I'm actually here, in front of your house.
Before I have time to change my mind, you've opened the door.
Your dark eyes looking through me.
Before I even have a chance to speak, I see her standing at your side.
At that exact moment, I feel the thread unraveling from
the spool that's become my soul.
For the first time in my life I feel empty and full at the same time.
I realize that I didn't lose you, but I lost myself.
No longer among a crowd, I stand alone.
My soul no longer lost at sea, tangled and pulled by seaweed.
I'm in a port; in a place where I can call home.
Depression (Dec. 2012)
It's just another lonely Tuesday afternoon.
Sitting by myself in my favorite coffee shop.
I sip my latte and then I notice this attractive guy take a seat near me.
But all of the sudden, my nose fills with the smell of gasoline.
And I know it's not you, but it's me.
I'm imagining myself doused in a chemical that can turn me to flame;
Burning out all the loneliness inside of me.
I think that the correct term for this is depression.
Defined by my psychologist as,
"feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy."
Defined by you as suicidal.
To me, it feels like being stranded on a 4x4 island
surrounded by quick sand.
It feels like each step I take just sinks further into the Earth;
swallowing me whole and then spitting me back out
because not even the dirt feels I'm worth something.
Depression means lying in bed at night for hours
with thoughts so heavy that you feel like your
head will fall straight through the mattress to the floor.
Depression means mascara stained cheeks every time you're alone;
it means swallowing your tears, choking them down so they
can find a home in the black hole inside your chest.
The same spot that's engulfing your organs, turning your flesh inside out.
All you want is someone to knot look at you as if you're breakable.
All I want is someone to lay beside other than the ghosts of everyone and
everything that's made me this way.
All I want is for my nose not to burn with the fumes of gasoline
every time I see someone that could've been you.
Sitting by myself in my favorite coffee shop.
I sip my latte and then I notice this attractive guy take a seat near me.
But all of the sudden, my nose fills with the smell of gasoline.
And I know it's not you, but it's me.
I'm imagining myself doused in a chemical that can turn me to flame;
Burning out all the loneliness inside of me.
I think that the correct term for this is depression.
Defined by my psychologist as,
"feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy."
Defined by you as suicidal.
To me, it feels like being stranded on a 4x4 island
surrounded by quick sand.
It feels like each step I take just sinks further into the Earth;
swallowing me whole and then spitting me back out
because not even the dirt feels I'm worth something.
Depression means lying in bed at night for hours
with thoughts so heavy that you feel like your
head will fall straight through the mattress to the floor.
Depression means mascara stained cheeks every time you're alone;
it means swallowing your tears, choking them down so they
can find a home in the black hole inside your chest.
The same spot that's engulfing your organs, turning your flesh inside out.
All you want is someone to knot look at you as if you're breakable.
All I want is someone to lay beside other than the ghosts of everyone and
everything that's made me this way.
All I want is for my nose not to burn with the fumes of gasoline
every time I see someone that could've been you.
Television Screens (Sept. 2012)
When I turn on the TV these days, depression slaps me with calloused hands across my face. The world is falling apart before our eyes, but everyone's too distracted by the bright lights flashing across our screens. There's so much more we're missing in-between. Men and women are dying all over the world for our country; for you. But you wouldn't realize that, no. Because you're too worried about who's guest starring next on Ellen, or what Kardashian is getting married or re-married. Can't' you see that children are having children? And can't you see that these children are being brought into a world of wars, corruption, and suffering? Into a world where your priest, the man who is divine and your gateway to God, is devouring your children's youth behind closed doors. We are blind and unwilling to believe that a world outside our own exists. While you lay asleep tonight in your bed, there is so much hatred and evil accumulating that will eventually cast itself into death and despair. Meanwhile, your mind is drifting off into pleasant dreams and you won't even know. You won't know that someone, somewhere is welcoming death to infiltrate their body because they realize how nothing is right in the world anymore. I can't watch TV anymore because its obscenities strangle me, leaving me bruised and breathless. So turn off the TV for a minute and look at your reflection in the screen. Do you see the world echoed in your eyes? Its loneliness running down your face? Its anger spewing from clenched teeth? I feel sorrow in my soul and exhaustion in my bones because those who reflect on the world are often left behind.
Dreaming With You (Sept. 2012)
Last night, I didn't dream of you,
But I dreamt with you.
We cascaded down the infancies of time.
Holding on to what we are,
forgetting all we've lost.
We don't ask questions because
we know the answers can't be deciphered.
When I wake, the only thing that remains of you is in my mind.
Distant memories, fading pieces of lost and broken dreams.
For the next hour, I weep for you.
When my body is weak, and face saturated with tears;
I reach for pen and paper because that's the only way I know how to escape.
I begin burning my thoughts onto that paper.
My mind scribbled in ink across blank pages.
Blank pages that have no more meaning than I feel my life may hold.
I reach for a bottle of something that will satisfy that need to escape.
It will end the agonizing pain I feel without you.
And just as I feel all hope begin to slip away,
and death approaches my lips;
I see you.
And I feel you around me.
I fall to my knees,
watching death scatter on the floor around me.
For the next hour, I do not weep for you.
I lay motionless on the cold tile floor,
Alone.
Time slowly passes, and only one thing crosses my mind.
Tonight,
I will dream with you.
I will not ask questions, and answers will remain undecipherable.
Nothing is explained, yet everything has been revealed.
That I must live without you.
But I dreamt with you.
We cascaded down the infancies of time.
Holding on to what we are,
forgetting all we've lost.
We don't ask questions because
we know the answers can't be deciphered.
When I wake, the only thing that remains of you is in my mind.
Distant memories, fading pieces of lost and broken dreams.
For the next hour, I weep for you.
When my body is weak, and face saturated with tears;
I reach for pen and paper because that's the only way I know how to escape.
I begin burning my thoughts onto that paper.
My mind scribbled in ink across blank pages.
Blank pages that have no more meaning than I feel my life may hold.
I reach for a bottle of something that will satisfy that need to escape.
It will end the agonizing pain I feel without you.
And just as I feel all hope begin to slip away,
and death approaches my lips;
I see you.
And I feel you around me.
I fall to my knees,
watching death scatter on the floor around me.
For the next hour, I do not weep for you.
I lay motionless on the cold tile floor,
Alone.
Time slowly passes, and only one thing crosses my mind.
Tonight,
I will dream with you.
I will not ask questions, and answers will remain undecipherable.
Nothing is explained, yet everything has been revealed.
That I must live without you.
Seasons (Oct. 2012)
You were only here, from sunrise to sunset.
Yet I wish it was summer to spring.
And again, summer to spring.
Your words fade each day,
And the distance between us grows longer,
The absence stronger.
I wish you were here with me,
Yesterday, or today, or tomorrow...
But you've been gone for days, months, years!
So many things were left unspoken,
But you're nowhere near to listen.
So I'll sit here alone,
Victim to all these words burning in my mind.
I loved you but... I don't think you loved me.
I want to love you again, but...
My love for you won't let me.
So I'll sit here and wait.
Wait for one day where my tired mind
will be washed of those once sweet memories we shared.
I've heard before that
loving is short and forgetting is so long,
But this has only made me wonder that
if you combine the two into "forgetting love,"
does it ever end?
How do you forget the feeling of fingers entwining?
Or the smell of the coffee we shared.
Those sensations late at night,
Breathless highs;
I thought we were unbreakable.
But those thoughts and feelings all left with you.
Four years ago you left me on a sunset quite like this one.
I once wanted you from summer to spring,
But now seasons don't even happen anymore.
You left me on a beautiful sunset,
And now I'm leaving you on this unbecoming sunrise.
Yet I wish it was summer to spring.
And again, summer to spring.
Your words fade each day,
And the distance between us grows longer,
The absence stronger.
I wish you were here with me,
Yesterday, or today, or tomorrow...
But you've been gone for days, months, years!
So many things were left unspoken,
But you're nowhere near to listen.
So I'll sit here alone,
Victim to all these words burning in my mind.
I loved you but... I don't think you loved me.
I want to love you again, but...
My love for you won't let me.
So I'll sit here and wait.
Wait for one day where my tired mind
will be washed of those once sweet memories we shared.
I've heard before that
loving is short and forgetting is so long,
But this has only made me wonder that
if you combine the two into "forgetting love,"
does it ever end?
How do you forget the feeling of fingers entwining?
Or the smell of the coffee we shared.
Those sensations late at night,
Breathless highs;
I thought we were unbreakable.
But those thoughts and feelings all left with you.
Four years ago you left me on a sunset quite like this one.
I once wanted you from summer to spring,
But now seasons don't even happen anymore.
You left me on a beautiful sunset,
And now I'm leaving you on this unbecoming sunrise.
Sweet Mornings (Sept. 2012)
It's mornings like these that make me forget all that I've lost,
And all the pain I've felt.
Your arms are wrapped around me,
protecting me from the past.
And your touch protects me from my adverse thoughts.
We woke up by each other this morning,
our noses touching, fingers intertwined;
forgetting the world around us.
If I could freeze any moment and keep it forever,
I'd keep this one.
The way sleep clouds your gaze;
Your fingers running through my hair, down my neck.
So softly, and sweetly; like honey.
The only word to describe how I feel right now is content.
But I don't think the right words even exist
to explain what is going through my mind.
You see right past how broken I am,
and make me surge with new life.
You're the only one who has the power to make me feel alive again.
For so long I've been seeing destruction and hopelessness in everything;
But now you've given me a new perspective.
It's the afternoon and I'm no longer in your arms.
I can feel sadness creeping up my back once again,
but I don't worry.
Because I know I'll be laying next to you again soon.
Safe once again from my own subversion.
And all the pain I've felt.
Your arms are wrapped around me,
protecting me from the past.
And your touch protects me from my adverse thoughts.
We woke up by each other this morning,
our noses touching, fingers intertwined;
forgetting the world around us.
If I could freeze any moment and keep it forever,
I'd keep this one.
The way sleep clouds your gaze;
Your fingers running through my hair, down my neck.
So softly, and sweetly; like honey.
The only word to describe how I feel right now is content.
But I don't think the right words even exist
to explain what is going through my mind.
You see right past how broken I am,
and make me surge with new life.
You're the only one who has the power to make me feel alive again.
For so long I've been seeing destruction and hopelessness in everything;
But now you've given me a new perspective.
It's the afternoon and I'm no longer in your arms.
I can feel sadness creeping up my back once again,
but I don't worry.
Because I know I'll be laying next to you again soon.
Safe once again from my own subversion.
Your Melody (Oct. 2012)
I sit down at this instrument and begin to play.
Melancholy melodies fill the room;
Each hammer striking the strings of my heart.
My fingers move softly along ivory keys,
And I'm reminded of you.
Pale keys mirror the soft and bare flesh of another lover;
You thought I never knew.
I begin to hear your voice, fear its songs.
So harsh, so unloving.
It floods my ears, drowning my thoughts;
Choking my own song.
My fingers grow angry, and my wrists violent.
Savagely pressing each key,
As if each movement were to pierce your soul.
I have hope that maybe,
Maybe I could bleed you of the darkness that resides there.
And just as this song slows,
Growing hushed, patient.
That aching melody, your melody repeats.
I find myself again filling the room with bleakness,
With the women of your past.
With your haunting voice.
All I can think is,
Will this melody ever die?
Melancholy melodies fill the room;
Each hammer striking the strings of my heart.
My fingers move softly along ivory keys,
And I'm reminded of you.
Pale keys mirror the soft and bare flesh of another lover;
You thought I never knew.
I begin to hear your voice, fear its songs.
So harsh, so unloving.
It floods my ears, drowning my thoughts;
Choking my own song.
My fingers grow angry, and my wrists violent.
Savagely pressing each key,
As if each movement were to pierce your soul.
I have hope that maybe,
Maybe I could bleed you of the darkness that resides there.
And just as this song slows,
Growing hushed, patient.
That aching melody, your melody repeats.
I find myself again filling the room with bleakness,
With the women of your past.
With your haunting voice.
All I can think is,
Will this melody ever die?
First Look (June 2012)
The Earth is always spinning, but sometimes
your own world stops.
One breath takes years;
one step, a lifetime.
A pulse starts strong in your chest.
Moves through your veins, piercing the soul.
Another step,
another lifetime.
A lurking destination,
temptation to run, instinct to flee.
Then that severed soul awakens,
clawing to the surface of the skin.
It begs for liberation.
It cries for the deepest of desires.
It screams, for you.
It craves your touch, your kiss;
I want every emotion to invade
my body, my mind.
I want your breath, your words,
to linger on my skin.
But once again, the soul is silenced.
Pushed under layers and layers of
self destruction and bitter anger.
One day that world will stop again,
And that soul will be fulfilled.
Until that day; it remains cages.
Trapped in the world of my mind.
your own world stops.
One breath takes years;
one step, a lifetime.
A pulse starts strong in your chest.
Moves through your veins, piercing the soul.
Another step,
another lifetime.
A lurking destination,
temptation to run, instinct to flee.
Then that severed soul awakens,
clawing to the surface of the skin.
It begs for liberation.
It cries for the deepest of desires.
It screams, for you.
It craves your touch, your kiss;
I want every emotion to invade
my body, my mind.
I want your breath, your words,
to linger on my skin.
But once again, the soul is silenced.
Pushed under layers and layers of
self destruction and bitter anger.
One day that world will stop again,
And that soul will be fulfilled.
Until that day; it remains cages.
Trapped in the world of my mind.
Cold Waters (July 2012)
Today was a day,
Where your oceans turned dark.
The cool blue pierced me,
Chilled me deep into my restless soul.
The warmth of your sun,
Is absent.
The warmth of my love,
Is fading.
Dark days are passing,
And a cold rain runs down my face.
All I want is for your love,
Your love to come back again.
The emptiness I feel,
Compares to the blackest of all night skies.
Stars of hope glimmer in existence;
But the sun.
It always rises.
Where your oceans turned dark.
The cool blue pierced me,
Chilled me deep into my restless soul.
The warmth of your sun,
Is absent.
The warmth of my love,
Is fading.
Dark days are passing,
And a cold rain runs down my face.
All I want is for your love,
Your love to come back again.
The emptiness I feel,
Compares to the blackest of all night skies.
Stars of hope glimmer in existence;
But the sun.
It always rises.
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